Me: What the fuck are you doing. What. The fuck. Are you doing.
Me: NICE BLINKER ASSHOLE.
Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going to speed limit. Why.
Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT
Me: Shit is that a cop? No.
Me: Shit THAT is a cop.
Me: /dinosaur screams/
Me: THERE’S NO RIGHT ON RED HERE, ASSHOLE. STOP HONKING AT ME.

maplerosekisses:

you know, when Steve introduces himself in TWS, Sam laughs and says “I’d put that together.” which makes sense because no normal human can run like that.

but like WHEN did he put it together? how many laps did it take before it dawned on him? at what point did Sam Wilson suddenly realize that he was being TROLLED BY CAPTAIN AMERICA

buckyremember:

okay but imagine if wade made it into an mcu movie and removed the lower part of his mask so clint could understand like he does in the comics and tries fingerspelling something at some point and clint is like “sorry man i never learned sign language” and wade just is so confused and pulls out a hawkeye comic and rifles through it and just looks up like “those motherfuckers”

Steve: [in a crowd and can’t find bucky] ‘this calls for drastic measures’
Steve: [uses his hands as a microphone] “STEVE ROGERS SUCKS!”
Bucky: [from across the room] “what the FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY”
Steve: “there he is”