thefallendream

icanhelpyouthere:

clracomalfoy:

au in which it isn’t the weasley family walking up to the platform at the same time as harry but the malfoys

I’M SCREAMING, HOLY FUCKING SHIT CAN YOU IMAGINE NARCISSA HELPING BBY HARRY ONTO THE PLATFORM AND DRACO APOLOGIZES FOR WHATEVER HE SAID AT THE ROBE SHOP THAT MADE HARRY UPSET BECAUSE HE JUST WANTS TO BE FRIENDS AND LUCIUS IS ALREADY MUTTERING ABOUT THE BENEFITS OF DRACO BECOMING FRIENDS WITH HARRY AND NARCISSA SLAPS HIS SHOULDER AND TELLS HIM TO SHUT UP BECAUSE “LOOK HOW CUTE THEY ARE LUCIUS, DON’T CORRUPT THIS” AND THEY GET A SEAT ON THE TRAIN TOGETHER. 

ALSO RON STILL ASKS TO JOIN THEIR CAR BECAUSE “EVERYWHERE ELSE IS FULL” AND DRACO STARTS TO SNEER BECAUSE HE CAN SMELL WEASLEY BUT HARRY IS LIKE “YEAH SURE COME ON IN” AND SO DRACO’S LIKE “OH” AND JUST UGHHHH. 

pyrrhiccomedy:

one of my favorite things is that there is surprisingly little scientific literature about the common house cat, because it turns out cats are the least cooperative research animals on the planet. They don’t care what you want them to do. food? you know what, we’ve decided we’re not even hungry right now. what is this, a maze? we’re gonna sit right here and lick ourselves for the next forty-five minutes, what are you gonna do about it.

it’s like, “okay science, we’ve done about 4000 tests to determine the intelligence and emotional perspicacity of domestic dogs, let’s do cats next”

“well sir, we’ve conducted a full battery of all the standard tests”

“glad to hear it science, what did you learn”

“sir our findings indicate that cats are dicks”